Best Jokes

Two guys John and Dick were just about to go to sleep when they realized the gate to their car garage was not yet closed. Each one wanted the other to go and close it. Dick came with a solution he said, I will ask you a question if you answer it properly you will close the gate otherwise I will close it. Bright idea! Said John, go ahead and ask. Well said the Dick, There is small domestic animal, it spends most of its time in the house and sometimes it roams in the garden, it catches mice and cries mew, mew, I mean meow, meow. What is it? Well, that must be a fish answered John. After thinking for moment Dick exclaimed Oh! You got it!!

For weeks, a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about
the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the
Mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child.
The six-year old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment.
Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever
has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying
to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think
how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
"There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or “That’s Michael, he's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher. She's dead."