Best Jokes

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

His father sends a small boy to bed. Five
minutes later....
"Da-ad...."
"What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No. You had your
chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

His father sends a small boy to bed. Five
minutes later....
"Da-ad...."
"What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No. You had your
chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

Two monkeys were sitting in a tree and two lions were sleeping below them. One monkey said to the other monkey "I dare you to go down there and kick one of those lions in the rear end." The other monkey said o.k. I'll go down there and kick him in the rear end as hard as I can. So he goes down the tree and kicks the lion as hard as he can and takes off swinging through the trees. The lion starts to chase him. He keeps getting closer, and closer until the monkeys thinks "Man I better do something quick or that lion is going to eat me for lunch. So he keeps swinging until the lion is pretty far behind him and he sees a newspaper lying on the ground. So he picks it up and starts to read it. All of a sudden the lion catches up to him and says, "Did you see a monkey run by here?" The monkey goes, "You mean the one that kicked that lion in the rear end?" And the lion says,"Dang it was in the paper already?"