Best Jokes

0 votes

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

DEAREST WIFE: JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.
P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.

0 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Anonymous" |
0 votes

Q: Where do people who say "shoot" and "darn" go to?
A: Heck

0 votes

posted by "Anonymous" |
0 votes

Q: Where do people who say "shoot" and "darn" go to?
A: Heck

0 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Anonymous" |
0 votes

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots. One for me and one for my best buddy."

Bartender says, "You want them both now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour his?"

The guy says, "Oh, I want them both now. I've got my best buddy in my pocket here." He then pulls a little three-inch man out of his pocket.

The bartender asks, "You mean to say, he can drink that much?"

"Oh, sure. He can drink it all and then some," the man retorted.

So, the bartender pours the two shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up. "That's amazing!" says the bartender. "What else can he do? Can he walk?"

The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Rodney, go fetch that quarter." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar, picks up the quarter and runs back down and gives it to the man.

The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing!" he says. "What else can he do? Does he talk?"

The man looks up at the bartender with a look of surprise in his eye and says, "Talk? Sure he talks. Hey, Rodney, tell him about that time we were in down in Africa on safari, hunting, and you called that native witch doctor a jerk!"

0 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Anonymous" |