Latest Jokes

An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. "But I think I know where I'm going wrong," said the idiot. "I think I am planting them too deep."

A small community had a fire and the local volunteer fire department. Well, the fire was just too big so they called for mutual aid from their neighboring town. Their fire truck came zooming by the local one and went right down the hill and parked right next to the fire. The fire fighters jumped out of the truck and feverishly went to work putting out the fire. The paint on the truck was bubbling, as they were so close. But soon they had the fire under control. After the fire was out, the local town's people were so impressed with the work the neighboring fire department did that they decided to give them a reward. The mayor presented the fire chief with a check for $3,000. Then he asked the chief what he was going to do with the money. The chief replied, " Well, the first thing I am going to do is fix the brakes on that fire truck."

Bargains at the pet shop:
A hummingbird that knows the words
A bloodhound with hypoglycemia
A chameleon that's stuck on green
A depressed hyena
An absent-minded elephant

She said to the boutique manager:
"Do you mind if I try on that red dress in the window?"
He said: "Sure - can't be bad for business!"