A drunk appears in front of a judge.

The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking."

The drunk, a bit surprised, says, "Okay, let's get started!"

Patient: "My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go shopping. Can you give me something for it?"

Doctor: "Try this medicine. If it doesn't work, come back to see me, and bring me a new video camera too."

A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?"

"That's disgusting, son. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies.

After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?"

"Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."