A woman stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried around her.

Her husband, coming down the stairs, asked why she was standing there.

"Here," she said, handing him the coats. "This time you put the children into their coats, and I'll go honk the horn."

A stage mother cornered the concert violinist in his dressing room and insisted he listen to a tape of her talented son playing the violin.

The man agreed to listen, and the woman switched on the tape player. “What music!” the violinist thought. A difficult piece, but played with such genius that it brought tears to his eyes. He listened spellbound to the entire recording.

“Madam,” he whispered, "is that your son?”

“No," she replied. “That’s Jascha Heifetz. But my son sounds just like him!”

Why are men with pierced ears well prepared for marriage?

Because they have already experienced pain and bought jewelry.