Father: "Take a look at and learn something from your classmate Lucy. She got an A on the last exam."
Son: "Actually Dad, that's the reason I failed... I WAS looking at her."
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
Mamma Bird: "Are you feeling alright? What's wrong?"
Baby Bird: "I shouldn't have eaten that caterpillar sandwich before the interview. Now I have butterflies in my stomach."
Panhandler: "Please sir, can you give me $10?"
Man: "Sorry, don't have any change. All I have is a $50 bill."
Panhandler: "No problem sir, if you donate $50 today, you can take advantage of the 10% cash back offer!"