A kid was a very good painter. Once a neighbor broker her nails while trying to pick-up a $100 bill lying on the ground because it looked so real.

She called the kid’s father and complained about the kid. The father said, “That’s nothing. My son drew a switch on the power socket yesterday and now I am in the hospital.”

A man was very excited when he saw the text message on his phone, “Salary credited to your bank account." Jumping for joy, he rushed towards his car to go out shopping. As soon he opened the door of the car, he received another message, “Car loan debited from bank account."

He closed the door of the car and decided to take a taxi. As he halted a taxi, he got another message, “Credit card payment made.” He changed his mind again and started walking towards a local mall. As he entered the mall, he got yet another text, “Please maintain minimum balance in your bank account.”

He turned around and started walking back home.

A public speaker could not believe his eyes when he saw just one man among the audience.

Nevertheless, he decided to go ahead with his speech. He asked him the reason for coming attending his speech.

The man replied, “It’s a hot day out there. The air conditioning is pretty good in here.”

Man: What, according to you, is Philosophy?

Friend: Philosophy are the ideas that act as guides for the best ways to live.

Man: So do you follow them?

Friend: No. I want everyone else to follow.