Two ladies are walking to their local County Fair, when it starts to rain. One says to the other, "Put your umbrella up, it's raining."

"I can't," says the other, "it's got holes in it."

"Holes in it?" the first lady asks. "Why did you bring it with you?"

The response, "I didn't think it would rain."

On a recent flight from New York to Seattle an elderly lady stands up and shouts, "Is there a doctor here?"

A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her, "I am. What is the problem?"

She replies, "Do you want to meet my daughter?"

After returning from a trip overseas, my luggage did not show up in the airport baggage area. Being a frequent flyer I knew the drill and went to the lost luggage office.

I told the woman there that my bags hadn't shown up on the carousel. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and that I was in good hands.

"Now," she asked, "has your plane arrived yet?"