A school girl was required to write an essay of two hundred and fifty words about an automobile. She submitted the following:
"My uncle bought an automobile. He was riding in the country when it busted going up a hill. I guess this is about fifty words. The other two hundred are what my uncle said when he was walking back to town, but they are not for publication."
Two old settlers out in the FAR WEST, confirmed bachelors, got to talking about cooking.
"I got one of them cookery books once, but I could do nothing with it."
"Too much fancy work in it, eh?"
"You said it! Every one o'them recipes began the same way... 'Take out a clean dish'... that settled me."
Looking for the appropriate book for a couple celebrating fifty years of marriage I went to the antique book store.
Asking the owner for a suggestion, he had a recommendation.
He recommended a copy of Parkman's "A Half Century of Conflict."
The quarrel had reached a new height when the wife said to her spouse, "I wish I'd taken my mother's advice and never married you."
Hubby swung around, "Do you mean to tell me that your mother tried to stop you from marrying me?"
Wife nodded in the affirmative.
"Good heavens," cried the husband, his voice filled with remorse. "How I've wronged that woman."