A kind farmer told the forlorn lad whose load of hay had overturned in the road, to forget his troubles and come in and have dinner with his family. "There will be time enough to clean up the load after a good meal."

The boy demurred; said he didn't think his father would like it. But the farmer persisted and won. After the meal the boy said he felt better and expressed his appreciation for the hospitality. At the same time, he was sure his father would not be happy.

"Nonsense!" said the host. "By the way," he added, "Where is your father?"

"Under the hay," was the response.

A school girl was required to write an essay of two hundred and fifty words about an automobile. She submitted the following:

"My uncle bought an automobile. He was riding in the country when it busted going up a hill. I guess this is about fifty words. The other two hundred are what my uncle said when he was walking back to town, but they are not for publication."

Two old settlers out in the FAR WEST, confirmed bachelors, got to talking about cooking.

"I got one of them cookery books once, but I could do nothing with it."

"Too much fancy work in it, eh?"

"You said it! Every one o'them recipes began the same way... 'Take out a clean dish'... that settled me."