The foreman on a contracted job started bawling out one of the men, "I've had slow men on jobs before but you are the slowest I've ever seen. Is there anything you are quick with?"
"Well," yawned the workman, "nobody can get tired as quick as I can."
Marine corporal (at a party): "Do you see that officer over there? He is the meanest egg I have ever seen. He is an ugly sap of an officer."
She: "Do you know who I am? I am that officer's daughter."
Corporal: "Do you know who I am?"
Little Johnny's teacher was preparing the students for the upcoming Spelling Bee when she asked Johnny to "Spell Straight."
Little Johnny: "S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T."
Teacher: "Correct; what does it mean?"
Little Johnny: "Without ginger ale."