Two men were at a race track discussing fast horses when one said he had a horse that was faster than an automobile.
"Faster than any automobile? Who was he sired by? You know his fathers name?"
"Why, he is so fast he ran away before he could find out his fathers name!"
Daughter: "My father always said he didn't like women that drove from the back seat."
Donna: "What did your mother say to that?"
Daughter: "She said that back seat drivers were no worse than men who cook from the dinning room table."
The landlady of a rooming house that had seen better days was leading a prospective tenant to a third floor room with badly splattered wall paper.
Landlady: “The last man who lived in this room was an inventor---he invented some type of explosive."
Prospective tenant: “Then the spots on the wall was some type of explosive?”
Landlady: “No, the inventor.”
A couple who work at the circus go to an adoption agency. Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. The couple produces photos of their 50 foot motor-home, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery. The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."
Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment. "Our nanny is an expert in pediatric welfare and diet."
The social workers are finally satisfied. They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
"It doesn't really matter, as long as he or she fits in the cannon."