Chauffeur: "All this talk about back-seat drivers is a bunch of nothing. I've driven a car for over ten years and have never heard a word from behind.

Cabby: "What type car do you drive?"

Chauffeur: "A Hearse."

Two men were at a race track discussing fast horses when one said he had a horse that was faster than an automobile.

"Faster than any automobile? Who was he sired by? You know his fathers name?"

"Why, he is so fast he ran away before he could find out his fathers name!"

Daughter: "My father always said he didn't like women that drove from the back seat."

Donna: "What did your mother say to that?"

Daughter: "She said that back seat drivers were no worse than men who cook from the dinning room table."

The landlady of a rooming house that had seen better days was leading a prospective tenant to a third floor room with badly splattered wall paper.

Landlady: “The last man who lived in this room was an inventor---he invented some type of explosive."

Prospective tenant: “Then the spots on the wall was some type of explosive?”

Landlady: “No, the inventor.”