Benjones Profile

Image
 

Benjones

User Details

Member Since : May, 2018
# of jokes posted : 631
# of followers : 10
# of following: 4
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 1832.00
$50.00 won 9 votes

Different views on doing laundry...

Son away at college: If it's clean it goes on the floor. If it's dirty it goes on the floor over there.

Husband while wife is away: If I just take things out of the hamper as I need them, I do not have anything to fold.

Wife: With the amount of laundry I do, there must be more people living in this house!

9 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$12.00 won 8 votes

Little Johnny went with his mother for the first time to deliver lunches to the elderly.

Little Johnny kept starring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.

He said, very softly, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

8 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$10.00 won 9 votes

I recently compared the cost of living in nursing homes vs cruise ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked cruise ship reservations and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day.
1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day for 10 meals or room service (breakfast in bed every day of the week).
3. The cruise ship swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken, light bulb out? Everything plus clean sheets and towels every day.
8. If you fall and break you hip: nursing home/Medicare. Cruise ship/upgrade to a suite forever.

Yep, Cruising is for me!

9 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$6.00 won 9 votes

A fly feels a bug on its back.

"Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite?" the fly asks.

"I 'might' be," giggles the mite.

"That's the worst pun I've ever heard," groans the fly.

"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly..."

9 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Benjones" |