A careful shopper in the fish market asked as to the freshness of the fish she was considering.
"Fresh? Why this fish took its last breath just as you entered the market," replied the manager.
The shopper, who had done business here before indicated, "And what a breath it has."
Joe: "Your father is so stingy he looks over the top of his glasses to keep them from wearing out."
Jack: "He's not stingy. He's just economical."
Joe: "He's so economical he hasn't spent over$100 dollars over the last five years."
Jack: "That's not so economical. My brother is more economical than that. But he'll be out next Monday."
An engaged couple was having an intense argument.
She: "If that's the kind of person you are, I'm going to break our engagement right now. My feelings towards you have changed. I don't want anything more to do with you."
He: "In that case give me my ring back!"
She: "My feelings toward you have changed. My feelings about the ring have not..."