maryjones Profile

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maryjones

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2018
# of jokes posted : 494
# of followers : 5
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 1316.00
$10.00 won 13 votes

Husband: "Now that we are married, perhaps I might venture to point out a few of your little defects."

Wife: "Don't bother, dear. I'm quite aware of them. It was those little defects that prevented me from getting a much better man than you."

13 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$9.00 won 13 votes

A woman was visiting the zoo when she passed two workmen that were crying.

"Why are you guys crying?" she asked.

One replied, "One of the elephants just died."

"The big elephant must have been your favorite animal in the zoo?" she asked.

"No, Ma'am-- love has nothing to do with it. The boss told us we have to dig the grave."

13 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$15.00 won 12 votes

"You know, I think everyone should divide their worldly goods with the other fellow," said an office worker to another.

"That's a good idea. If you had two thousand dollars would you give me half?"

"Sure."

"And if you had two automobiles, would you give me one?"

"Sure."

"And if you had two shirts, would you give me one?"

"No."

"No? Why?"

"Because I have two shirts."

12 votes

CATEGORY Money Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$7.00 won 10 votes

At the monthly meeting of the local group of struggling artists, two of them were discussing their respective prospects.

First artist: "I'm not doing too well. I painted a picture for a local lady but she didn't like it. She said it made her look just like a monkey."

Second artist: "I hope you were diplomatic about it?"

First artist: "Yes, I told her she should have thought about that before she had her picture painted."

10 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "maryjones" |