The pastor and one of his deacons were walking to parking lot on a frosty day after church. The deacon slipped on the walkway and fell flat on his back.

The pastor, after being assured that the deacon was not injured said, "Friend, sinners stand on slippery places."

The deacon looked up as if to assure himself of the fact said, "I see they do, but I can't."

Husband: "Now that we are married, perhaps I might venture to point out a few of your little defects."

Wife: "Don't bother, dear. I'm quite aware of them. It was those little defects that prevented me from getting a much better man than you."

A woman was visiting the zoo when she passed two workmen that were crying.

"Why are you guys crying?" she asked.

One replied, "One of the elephants just died."

"The big elephant must have been your favorite animal in the zoo?" she asked.

"No, Ma'am-- love has nothing to do with it. The boss told us we have to dig the grave."

"You know, I think everyone should divide their worldly goods with the other fellow," said an office worker to another.

"That's a good idea. If you had two thousand dollars would you give me half?"

"Sure."

"And if you had two automobiles, would you give me one?"

"Sure."

"And if you had two shirts, would you give me one?"

"No."

"No? Why?"

"Because I have two shirts."