Drill Sergeant (speaking to new recruit having difficulty): "What was your occupation before enlisting in the army?"

Recruit: "Traveling salesman, sir."

Drill Sergeant: "Stick around, you'll get plenty of orders around here!"

The dad took his young daughter to the movies. He occupied a seat near the middle of the theater, while the young lady went down to the front row to sit with her friends. The news reel was showing about the raging forest fires in California, which evidently frightened the little girl as she came back to take a seat next to dad.

"What's the matter?" he asked. "Did the fire frighten you?"

"Oh, no," she replied, "the smoke was getting in my eyes."

The boys were arriving back at the fraternity house after the summer vacation.

"What have you been doing this summer?" one asks another.

"Working in my dad's office, and you?"

"Yeah, I've been loafing around and doing nothing too."

A man, in his carefree bachelor days, had been very fond of a Washington restaurant which specialized in waffles with honey. Year after year he had visited this place to get this very delectable meal, so when he married, he decided to to take his wife there so they could share the pleasure together. He did not tell her what was coming, merely ordering an excellent meal with two orders of waffles.

The meal came, the waffles came but there were two small pitchers of near maple syrup, but no honey.

He called the waitress over and whispered loud enough for his wife to hear, "Where's my honey?"

The waitress beamed intelligently, "She's on vacation and will be back next week."