People are so amazing... if you tell a person that there are 270,678,934,341 stars in the universe, they'll believe you.

However if you put up a sign that says "FRESH PAINT"... that same person has to make a personal investigation!

His wife returned from the morning shopping expedition and called her husband into the room from the garden.

"Frederick," she said heavily, "When you came home last night you told me you had been to the Grand Hotel with Mr. Wilson. I just met Mrs. Wilson, and she said you were both at the Trocadero. Why did you lie to me like that."

Hubby groaned. "When I came home last night I couldn't say 'Trocadero.'"

Ms. Warner: "Well, how are you getting on in your new eight room house?"

Ms. Kyle: "Oh, not so badly. We furnished one of the bedrooms by collecting soap coupons."

Ms. Warner: "Didn't you furnished the other seven rooms?"

Ms. Kyle: "We can't. They are full of the soap."

In the daily briefing for the weather the weather man suggested with 100% certainty that the forecast for the afternoon call for heavy rains.

Assistant: "Are you positive, sir?"

Weatherman: "Yes indeed. I've lost my umbrella, I got my car washed on the way in, I'm going golfing, and my wife's giving a lawn party."