I'm absolutely heartbroken. My Wife just broke up with me over my chronic gambling addiction...

... But it's okay, I'll win her back.

People call me self-centered...

But that’s enough about them.

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81...

He said no.

After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt.

She felt the same way.

So I turned on the air conditioner.