The other day, I rang the Speaking Clock. It said, “What's the matter, can't you afford a watch? Are you too lazy to lift your arm up, you idiot?“

It was Greenwich Mean Time.

My daughter asked me, "What is a unit a power?"

I replied, "Correct."

The CEO of IKEA was just elected president in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.

My doctor has advised me to stop drinking.

It's going to be a massive change for me.

I've been with that doctor for 15 years.