Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body.

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

I caught my son chewing on electrical cords...

So I had to ground him...

He's doing better currently...

And conducting himself properly.

I went skydiving today for the first time.

This guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane.

As we plummeted he said, "So how long have you been an instructor?"

I built a model of Mount Everest.

My son asked, “Is it to scale?”

I replied, “No... it’s to look at.”