I don’t always go the extra mile...

But when I do, it's because I missed my exit!

No offense, but I was raised to “take care of my husband”...

Wash his clothes, clean the house, wear gloves, get rid of the body, act really sad at the funeral.

Just helped my neighbor throw a rolled up carpet in the dumpster...

Her boyfriend would have helped but he is out of town.

Me (texting): Are we still on for today?

Reply Received: You don’t have to text me this every morning! As your boss, trust me when I say, WE ARE "ON" FOR WORK EVERYDAY, MON - FRI!