Lou: Hey Joe. I know the score of any professional sports score before it happens.

Joe: No you don’t. That’s impossible.

Lou: Wanna bet?

Joe: Okay Lou. What’s the score of the Patriots vs the Rams game before it happens?

Lou: That’s easy. The score of the Patriots vs the Rams game is going to be 0-0 BEFORE it happens.

A lettuce and a tomato were in a race.

Who won?

The lettuce went a head, but the tomato never could ketchup.

People are always asking me if I’m a cat person or a dog person...

As if penguins didn’t even exist!

There was an explosion at a french cheese factory last night...

All that’s left is de Brie...