What dog says “meow”?

A police dog working undercover.

Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist,

While you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it all.

Sincerely,

The Opportunist

I once swallowed a dictionary.

It gave me thesaurus throat I ever had.

A little kid goes grocery shopping with his mother. They separate for a short time. Then, being lost, he says, “Martha! Martha!”

Short time later his mother rushes up and hugs him. She says, “Why did you call out Martha, Martha, I am your mother?”

The kid says, “There are a lot of mothers in the store, better chance you’re the only Martha.”