What did the mother worm say to her son when he was late for dinner?
"Where IN Earth have you been?!?!"
Little Johnny goes to the local Farm & Ranch store to buy bird feed.
The salesperson ask how many birds does he have?
Little Johnny replies, "None, I want to grow some."
I went back to my home town a decided to visit the house I grew up in.
I ask the occupants if I could come inside. They said, "No!"
My parents can be so grouchy some times.
Following my diet plan for tonight, I had a salad that had lots of croutons and tomatoes.
Actually, I only had one big round crouton, covered with tomato sauce and cheese.
Fine, maybe I had a pizza.
Ok, I confess, I ate a whole pizza!