The real estate agent is following up with an elderly gentlemen after showing him a new home. Over the phone the agent indicated, "This house will be worth double what you paid for it in a few years."

The older gentleman laughs, "At my age, it's a risk buying green bananas."

Little Johnny walked into his classroom with a fried egg on his head.

The teacher asked, "Why do you have a fried egg on your head?"

Little Johnny responded, "Because a hard boiled egg rolls off."

The golfer sliced a ball into a field of chickens, striking one of the hens and killing it instantly. He was understandably upset, and sought out the farmer.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “my terrible tee-shot hit one of your hens and killed it. Can I replace the hen?”

“I don’t know about that,” replied the farmer, mulling it over. “How many eggs a day do you lay?”

A girl asked an old bachelor friend whether he had been disappointed in love?

"No, I never was exactly disappointed in love. I was what you might call discouraged. You see, when I was very young I became much enamored with a young lady of my acquaintance. I was mortally afraid to tell her of my feelings, but at last I got the courage to the proposing point. I said 'Let's get married!'"

"And what did she say?

"She said, 'Good Lord, Who'd have us.'"