A man is on trial for stealing an overcoat. The judge went straight to the point. "Did you steal this man's overcoat?" he demanded.
"No sir," the defendant replied, with a grin. "I was just playing joke on him."
"And where did you take the coat?" asked the judge.
"I removed it from the coat rack in the restaurant and carried it home with me."
"Guilty," snapped the judge.
"Guilty! Guilty of what?" asked the defendant.
"Guilty of carrying a joke too far!"
As the cruise ship was departing port, a well dressed passenger approached the Captain. Pointing to the distant hills she asked, "What is that white stuff?"
The Captain replied, "That is snow, madam."
"Well," remarked the lady, "I thought so. But a gentleman told me it was Greece."
Mr. Wimple was suing for divorce.
"Then judge," he protested, "my wife hit me over the head with an oak leaf."
"Well, that couldn't have hurt you, surely," the judge commented.
"But it was the oak leaf from the center of the dining room table," answered Mr. Wimple.
Landlord: "I want you to pay your rent."
Struggling artist: "Let's discuss this. In a few years people will look up at this miserable studio and say, 'Truman Jones, the famous artist, use to work here.'"
Landlord: "If you don't pay your rent by tonight, they'll be able to say it tomorrow."