A chemist's favorite drink is...

CoFe2.

My friend came back from Las Vegas once. He told me the slot machines are easy to win big at.

He went to town in a $10,000 Nissan, left in a $360,000 Porsche. 

I thought, "Nice, I'm going to get in on that." So I left for Vegas in my $15,000 Toyota. Came back in a $800,000 vehicle. 

A Greyhound bus.

A bike in town keeps running over me...

It's a vicious cycle!

A man is on trial for stealing an overcoat. The judge went straight to the point. "Did you steal this man's overcoat?" he demanded.

"No sir," the defendant replied, with a grin. "I was just playing joke on him."

"And where did you take the coat?" asked the judge.

"I removed it from the coat rack in the restaurant and carried it home with me."

"Guilty," snapped the judge.

"Guilty! Guilty of what?" asked the defendant.

"Guilty of carrying a joke too far!"