As the cruise ship was departing port, a well dressed passenger approached the Captain. Pointing to the distant hills she asked, "What is that white stuff?"

The Captain replied, "That is snow, madam."

"Well," remarked the lady, "I thought so. But a gentleman told me it was Greece."

Mr. Wimple was suing for divorce.

"Then judge," he protested, "my wife hit me over the head with an oak leaf."

"Well, that couldn't have hurt you, surely," the judge commented.

"But it was the oak leaf from the center of the dining room table," answered Mr. Wimple.

Landlord: "I want you to pay your rent."

Struggling artist: "Let's discuss this. In a few years people will look up at this miserable studio and say, 'Truman Jones, the famous artist, use to work here.'"

Landlord: "If you don't pay your rent by tonight, they'll be able to say it tomorrow."

The chicken wanted to go out on a Saturday night but could not find a sitter.

What do they do with the kids?

They decided to CARTON them around.