Mr. Wimple was suing for divorce.
"Then judge," he protested, "my wife hit me over the head with an oak leaf."
"Well, that couldn't have hurt you, surely," the judge commented.
"But it was the oak leaf from the center of the dining room table," answered Mr. Wimple.
Landlord: "I want you to pay your rent."
Struggling artist: "Let's discuss this. In a few years people will look up at this miserable studio and say, 'Truman Jones, the famous artist, use to work here.'"
Landlord: "If you don't pay your rent by tonight, they'll be able to say it tomorrow."