If you need a shoulder to cry on...

Just pull off on the side of the road!

While on a field trip to a local petting zoo Little Johnny breathlessly rushed up to his teacher and shouted out, "Teacher, teacher, I just saw a man making a horse!"

"Oh, Johnny, are you sure?" asked the teacher.

"Of course," said Johnny, "they were tacking on his feet as I walked by!"

What is the the difference in counting cattle vs sheep?

Counting cattle does not put you to sleep!

I recently ask a not so bright applicant to fax me her resume...

She replied that she could not as she only had one copy.