Four golfers were approaching the clubhouse green when they saw two ladies approaching.

One golfer commented to another, "Here comes my wife with some old hag she's picked up somewhere."

"And here comes mine with another," retorted the other, icily.

The clergyman of a large church, having just arrived in Fort Smith, was being shaved by a local barber that was addicted to occasional drinking sprees. There was an unmistakable odor of whisky around the barber's face and the razor suddenly nicked the man's face.

"You see, that comes from taking too much drink," said the clergyman.

"You're right," said the barber. "Drinking does make the skin tender, that's a fact."

What did the vet say when Schrodinger went to pick up his cat?

"I have good news and bad news..."

My neighbor, a tailor, has a new job.

I asked him how much he enjoyed it.

"It's Sew-Sew."