I was trying to develop a joke about PALLETS...

But I am not able to find one that stacks up.

Is there a difference in a smart person and a stupid person?

No, as both think they know everything.

Mary Jane: "Your husband's birthday is coming up. What are you getting him?"

Wife: "Oh, 100 of his favorite cigars."

Mary Jane: "What did you pay for them?"

Wife: "Nothing! For the last few months I have taken one or two from his box daily. He has not noticed and will be delighted with my ability in getting the kind he always smoked."

Theater Manager: "Your second act was magnificent, Miss De Fleur! Your suffering was almost real."

Miss De Fleur: "It was, I've got a nail in my shoe."

Theater Manager: "Well, for heaven's sake leave it in until the third and final act is complete."