Did you hear about the two bed bugs that met in a mattress?

They got married in spring.

Why was the robot upset?

Everyone was pushing its buttons.

Little Johnny went fishing with his dad, who had his fishing license on the back of his hat.

After a while they had caught no fish when Little Johnny offered the following suggestion: "Dad, turn your hat around so the fish can see your license."

During tryouts for one of the chorus positions in the upcoming musical The Sound of Music, one of the girls told the judges, "Mother says I sing beautifully."

The judge replied, "Bring me a recommendation from your neighbors and I'll give you a tryout."