Teacher: "How much is half of 8?"

Little Johnny: "Up and down or across?"

Teacher: "What do you mean?"

Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"

I'm reading a book called "Quick Money for Dummies"...

By Robin Banks.

When a woman in my office became engaged, a colleague offered her some advice. "The first seven years are the hardest," she said.

"How long have you been married?" I asked.

"Seven years," she replied.

Why don't skeletons ever get mad?

Nothing gets under their skin.