My brother worked at a muffler shop, but he had to quit...

He was too exhausted.

A women is getting lunch ready when the phone rings.

"This is the middle school calling about your son Johnny. He's been caught telling unbelievable lies."

"I'll say he has," the woman replies, "I don't have a son."

A wife comes downstairs before a dinner date with her husband.

"Do I look fat in this dress?" the wife asks.

"Do I look dumb in this shirt?" the husband replies.

One day YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will merge...

It'll be called YouTwitFace.