I spent $80 on a belt that didn't fit...
My wife said it was a huge waist.
Waiter: How do you like your steak, sir?
Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife.
Waiter: Rare it is.
A man was found guilty of overusing commas.
The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence.
Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx...
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.