Three lunatics are attempting to escape from a mental hospital. The first one passes the guard, makes the sound of a cat, and continues.
The second one does exactly the same, meowing like a cat, and gets out, too.
The third then passes near the guard and yells, “I’m a cat too!”
The president of a movie-studio who was not exactly noted for his knowledge of the English language received a well written story titled “The Optimist.” After reading the manuscript, he called a gathering of the most creative minds and announced, “Gentlemen, we got us a great story here, but I want all of you to think of something simpler for a title. There ain’t many people will know the technical term for eye doctor.”
A couple is traveling on the Kansas Turnpike resisting 40 to 50 mph crosswinds. At the tollbooth, the husband asks the attendant; “What do you people do in Kansas when the wind stops?” The attendant didn’t miss a beat when he answered, “We take the rocks out of our pockets.”
Mo and Jo are sitting in boat fishing, drinking beer and chewing tobacco when out of the blue Mo says, “I think I’m gonn a divorce my wife …… she ain’t spoke to me in over a month.” Jo sips his beer and says, “Better think over, women like that are hard to find.”