entertainment jokes

A patient tell his therapist: “I feel awful. I feel like a spoon all the time.”
The therapist says: “sit still and don’t stir.”

When a doctor remarked on a new patient’s extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, “high blood pressure, Doc. It runs in my family.”
“Your mother’s side or your father’s?” the doctor asked. “Neither,” the patient replied. “It’s from my wife’s family.” “Oh, come now,” said the doctor “How could your wife’s family give you high blood pressure?” He sighed. “You oughta meet’em sometime, Doc!”

An orthopedic surgeon was moving to a new office, with the help of his staff. One of the nurses sat the display skeleton in the front of her car, a bony arm across the back of the seat.
On the drive across town, she stopped at a traffic light, and the stares of the people in the neighboring car compelled her to roll down her window and yell, I’m delivering him to my doctor’s office.” The other driver leaned out of is window. “I hate to tell you, lady,” he said, “but I think it’s too late!”

A neurotic is the person who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the person who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is the person who collects the rent.