misc jokes

Examining his new will, the old man said to his attorney, “I guess this makes my son and I sort of like football players.”
“How’s that?” the lawyer asked.
“Well, until I kick off, he doesn’t receive.”

When he was finished with the bulk of the changes, Mr. Smith added yet one more stipulation to his will: that he be buried at sea.
He explained, “that’s just in case my wife makes good on her threat t dance on my grave.”

Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles’ bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.
“I’m jus an ordinary man,” he said, walking up to her, “but in just a week or two, my father will die and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”
The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother.

Lying on his deathbed, the wealthy Mr. Sams was instructing his attorney on last-minute changes in his will.
“I wish to leave everything I own, all stocks, bonds property, art, and money, to my wife. However, there is one stipulation.”
“And that is?”
“In order to inherit, she must marry within six months of my death.”
The lawyer seemed puzzled. “Why make such an unusual request?”
Mr. Sams answered, “Because I want someone to be sorry I died.”