misc jokes

When a warming trend hit the Artic, scientists were assigned to watch glaciers in danger of splitting. Naturally, all of the researchers had to have good ice sight.

Delighted to learn that his new wallpaper was washable, the moron was furious when the very first time he washed it, it was snatched from the clothesline.

Going to the travel agent’s office, the moron said, “I’d like a round-trip ticket, please.”
“Where to?” the agent asked.
“Why, back here, naturally.”

Hearing a scream from the playroom, the mother rushed in and found her infant daughter pulling the hair of her four-year-old bother. After separating them, the mother said to her son, “Don’t be upset with your sister, honey. She didn’t know she was hurting you.”
No sooner had the mother returned to he chores than she heard more screaming. This time she rushed in and found the baby crying. “Now what happened?” she asked.
“Nothing,” said the boy, “except that now she knows.”