misc jokes

Q. Why aren't there very many Wal-Mart’s in Afghanistan?

A. Because there are too many targets!

A guy walks into a bar, sits at the counter and said "Drinks, everybody on me, even you bar tender" on my tab. Every one got a drink and thanked the man. After a while he man said "Drinks, everybody on me, even you bar tender. Put it on my tab." Everybody got their drinks and thanked the man. The bar tender pulled the man to the side and asked him "You know this is going to be a lot of money, can you pay for this? The man said "No". The bar tender took the man in the back, beat him up, and threw him out the back door. The man brushed himself off, and went back into the bar. He sat down and said "Drinks, everybody, on me. Except for you bartender, you don't know how to act when you get drunk

Patient: Doctor I've been seeing striped cows!"
Doctor: "Have you seen a Psychiatrist?"
Patient: "No only striped cows!"

Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard.

"Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a 'K' in the front?"

After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"