misc jokes

Two rabbits are running from a group of foxes.

They hide in a pile of hay.

One rabbit says to the other one, "Ok, we can run for it, or we can stay here, and soon enough we out number them."

The other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot, I'm your brother!"

One ant was running across an unopened box of crackers and urging another to speed up. “But why do we have to hurry?” said one. “Can you read, you nut! It says, ‘Tear along the dotted line’”.

Matilda and Rosie were chatting one day. Matilda had recently moved to a retirement home. Rosie asked, “Matilda, how do like your new home?”
“Oh, I love it,” answered Matilda. “there’s so much to do, and no burdens of cooking a cleaning.” “I’m not sure I’d like it,” Rosie said. “I understand there are hardly any men at these places.”
“Oh, indeed there are,” said Matilda. “There’s Will Power, and Charlie Horse, and (whispering) you can even go to bed with Arthur It is. And, if you don’t like them, there’s Ben Gay.”

The parents of a difficult boy were discussing what to give him for a birthday present. The mother said, “Let’s buy him a bicycle.”
“Well,” said the father, “maybe – but do you think it will improve his behavior?”
“Probably not,” said the mother, “but it will spread it over a wider area.”