misc jokes

A sign posted in a Dentist's office said:

"Please be nice to our dentists. They have fillings too."

Q.Whats wrong when your wife nags at you in the front room?

A.You made her chain too long.

Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"

1.Happiness is only a shoe shop away
2.If you fart it is blamed on the nearest man
3.It is always the mans fault if the car goes wrong
4.Chocolate can really solve problems
5.You can end a fight by crying
6.You have the right to be a pain every month

1.you always get the blame if something goes wrong
2.the kids always see you as the one that tells them to tidy their room and that they can't get a dog
3.The kitchen
4.People annoy you at totally the wrong time with their problems
5. The week after your period no one likes you
6.If you break up your relationship you only get half your cds back