misc jokes

A bechelor, just turned 40, began feeling desperate. "I went to a singles bar," he told a friend. "walked over to this 20-year-old woman and asked, "Where have you been all my life? she said, "Theeting!"

Q. What's te definition of a bachelor pad?
A. All the house plants are dead, but there's something growing in the refrigerator.

From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving is hands.

"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.

"I have no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad like that."

The villager on his first trip to the city was waiting at a bus stop one morning. After some hesitation he asked a woman. “Which bus should I take to Mahim?”
“Bus Number 177,” the woman replied, and caught the next bus.
The same evening, the woman got off a bus at the same stop and found the villager still waiting. “Didn’t you get the bus to Mahim?” she exclaimed.
“Not yet,” he said wearily. “So far 168 buses have come and gone – eight more before mine arrives."