The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply...
"Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."
An 8 year old girl went to the office with her father on 'Take your kid to work Day'.
As they walked round the office she started crying and getting cranky.
Her father asked what was wrong.
As the staff gathered round she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?"
Irritated Boss: "Can't you hear that the phone is ringing? You must answer the telephone!"
New Secretary: "All right, but it seems so silly. Nine times out of ten, it's for you."
Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.