The owner of a company tells his employees, “You worked very hard this year, therefore the company’s profits increased dramatically. As a reward, I'm giving everyone a check for $5,000!”
Thrilled, the employees gather round and high five one another.
“And if you work with the same zeal next year, I'll sign those checks!”
A woman, a manager and his assistant are sitting together in a train. Suddenly, the train goes through a tunnel, and as luck would have it, the lights go out and it's completely dark.
Then there's this kissing noise and the sound of a loud slap. When the train comes out of the tunnel, the woman and the assistant are sitting as if nothing has happened and the manager has his hand against his face, which is red from an apparent slap.
The manager is thinking, "My assistant must have kissed the woman and she missed him and slapped me instead."
The woman is thinking, "The manager must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed his assistant and got slapped for it."
And the assistant is thinking, "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I'll make another kissing noise and slap my boss again!"
Two friends went for an interview for the same job. One was educated and the other wasn't, so they agreed to help each other.They agreed that the educated one would go first and when he was done, he would give the other the answers to all the questions. The first guy's interview started:
QN 1: "When was Tanzania's independence?"
GUY 1: "It was supposed to be 1960 but it was postponed to 1961 due to many reasons."
QN 2: "Who brought independence to Tanzania?"
GUY 1: "So many participated but it was Mwalimu Nyerere who finalized it."
QN 3: "It's believed that in planet Mars, there is life... is it true?"
GUY 1: "So many people say so, but it has not been scientifically proven."
When he left the interview room, he went straight to his uneducated friend and gave him all the answers. Second guy's interview also started:
QN 1: "When were you born?"
GUY 2: "It was supposed to be 1960 but it was postponed to 1961."
QN 2: "What!! Who is your father?"
GUY 2: "So many participated but it was Mr. Nyere who finalized it."
QN 3: "Oh My! Are u CRAZY???"
GUY 2: "So many say so but it has not been scientifically proven!"
The boss called one of his employees into the office. "Rob," he said, "you've been with the company for a year. You started off as an office clerk, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice-chairman. Now it's time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company. What do you say to that?"
"Thanks," said the employee.
"Thanks?" the boss replied. "Is that all you can say?"
"I suppose not," the employee said. "Thanks, Dad."