A child comes home from his first day at school.
His mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."
Last night, someone actually jumped the fence of the Presidential Palace.
The Security team eventually caught the person.
The tackling officer said, “I'm sorry, but you have to stay here for all four years, Mr. President.”
When ordering a pizza ask that it be cut in 4 slices in place of the normal 8 slices...
That way, it only counts as 4 slices on your diet!
One day three doctors went to a convention together, on the way back, they noticed the car was slowing down. They got out and looked at the tires. The first doctor said "I think its flat."
The second felt it and said "It feels flat."
The third stares at it and says "It looks flat."
All of them, without taking their eyes off the wheel, shook their heads and said in unison, "We better run some tests."