Latest Jokes

A few animals are in a restaurant. The waiter comes over at the end of the night with the check.

The skunk says, "Don't look at me, I haven't got a scent."

The duck says, "Just put it on my bill!"

The cow says, "You'll have to ask one of the udders."

The elephant blurts out, "It's on me, I have enough money in the trunk!"

Two old friends were chatting. One said to the other, "My 85th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me an SUV."

Other guy responded, "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine that, an SUV... what a great gift!"

"Yup! Socks, Underwear, AND Viagra!"

Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue!

I just put my new hearing aid in...

I can even hear my thoughts now.