Latest Jokes

What cooking/seasoning spice herb can be found in the court of law?

A bay-leaf.

Changing Resolutions...

2010: I will get my weight down below 160 pounds.

2011: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 180 pounds.

2012: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.

2013: I will work out every day.

2014: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week and eat fewer cookies.

As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important, the football games on television or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family and even lingered for some pleasant after dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.

Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even bought a cold drink for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek, and asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing.

"See?" she said, continuing to smile. "You didn't miss a thing!"