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Favorite this joke A man walks into a posh restaurant and orders his meal. While he takes the first bite and is looking around, a monkey swings down and steals his plate from him before he is able to stop it.
The man asks the waiter, "Excuse me sir, who owns the monkey?"
The waiter replies, "It belongs to the piano player."
The man walks over to the piano player and says, "Do you know your monkey stole my food?"
The pianist responds, "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."
Ban Pre-Shredded cheese!
Make America GRATE again!
Confucius says...
"Man who stands in front of car gets tired, man who stands behind car gets exhausted."
My mother, a meticulous housekeeper, often lectured my father about tracking dirt into the house. One day he came in to find her furiously scrubbing away at a spot on the floor and launching into a lecture.
"I don’t know what you’ve brought in," she said, "but I can’t seem to get this out."
He studied the situation for a moment and, without a word, moved a figurine on the window-sill where the sun was streaming in. The spot immediately disappeared.
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