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Favorite this joke Resolutions You Can Keep...
1.) Gain at least 30 pounds.
2.) Read less.
3.) Stop exercising.
4.) Watch more TV.
5.) Procrastinate more.
6.) Start being superstitious.
7.) Spend more time at work.
8.) Stop bring lunch from home and eat out more.
9.) Sleep more.
10.) Start a new bad habit.
Man: What, according to you, is Philosophy?
Friend: Philosophy are the ideas that act as guides for the best ways to live.
Man: So do you follow them?
Friend: No. I want everyone else to follow.
A boy was bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store installed a machine for squeezing fresh orange juice.
Intrigued, the young man asked if he could be allowed to work the machine, but his request was denied.
Said the store manager, "Sorry, kid, but baggers can't be juicers."
A dollar may not go as far as it used to, but what it lacks in distance, it makes up for in speed.
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