Latest Jokes

If it's "I before E, except after C", then shouldn't Albert Einstein be Albert Ienstien?

What would you call something that cleans vacuums?

"Vacuum Cleaner" is already taken.

If you had purchased $1,000 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have less than $11.00 of the original $1,000.
With Worldcom, you would have less than $5.00.

But, if you purchased $1,000 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycling, you would have $214.00

Based on the above, current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg Plan.

A well-known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it. The operation went fine, and the doctor sent the business man a fee for his services of $5000.

The businessman was outraged at the cost, and sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs. The doctor sent back a list with two things:

One screw..................................... $ 1
Knowing how to put it in............. $4999
Total = $5000

The businessman never argued.